A major part of dating is getting out and meeting people. That’s why we set up fun, social events. Most events are free and some few events are paid. Some events require advance tickets to be purchased. Please pay attention to which type of event you’re attending.
Quick-Start Guide To
Navigating & Attending Events
- Before I Leave The House I Should… These things are pretty basic, but there are certain things you may not think of if you’re from a different culture.
- Smell Good! Shower and wear deodorant, lightly apply perfume or cologne, brush your teeth and bring gum or mints. Sometimes the venue will be crowded and get warm and you will start sweating. In this case you’ll want to smell good so others will be ok standing in your presence. It may also be loud and you may be speaking very close to someone so they can hear you, and your breath should be tolerable to others.
- Look Good! People who dress well are perceived better by others. If we’re going bowling, it’s ok to dress very casually, sneakers, t-shirt and jeans are ok. But if we’re going to a lounge for a mixer, you’re going to want to wear nicer shoes, designer jeans, a button down shirt if you’s a man, and high heels (or at least nice shoes), a cocktail dress, and a nice purse if you’re a woman.
- I’m Attending My First Event! Chances are you might be a bit nervous. This is to be expected. But! Keep in mind that many members have been exactly where you are now. They understand what it’s like to go to their first event, and they are extremely welcoming to new members, so know that you are in good hands!
- Introduce Yourself To Members! Always introduce yourself to other members. Everyone is there to meet people, and it’s expected that people will be introducing themselves. It’s a good idea to introduce yourself to at least 5 members per event that you haven’t met yet.
- Start A Conversation! Don’t know what to talk about? It’s very easy to start by telling people a little bit about yourself. You being willing to share something about yourself makes others feel comfortable and willing to the the same. You can start by sharing how you came to be find the club and then by asking someone how they found it as well. You can also talk about what you do for work, what some of your hobbies and interests are, where you’ve traveled to in the world, and what your week has been been like. The #1 Golden Secret to meeting new people is to talk to and treat them as if you’ve known them for years. Just assume that you have a rapport with them and they’ll feel more comfortable with you.
- I’m Interested In Dating Someone I Met! There are different ways to go about this, so let’s explore some options, shall we?
- Handle Rejection Gracefully: First and foremost, you have to realize your interest in someone doesn’t always go both ways. If your advances are declined, be cool about it. Treat the person with the same dignity you would want to be treated with yourself. Accept rejection gracefully, as it says more about them than you.
- Suggest Seeing Them At Another Event: If you’re not quite sure you want to go on a date yet, you can always ask, or reply to being asked, that you’d like to see them again at another event. For example: Man: It was nice meeting you today, would you like to go out for a drink sometime? Woman: Actually, I have an agreement with myself that I have to see someone at a couple of events first before I’ll consider going on a date with them. But the next event I’m going to is… Will I see you there? This way, you can slow things down a little bit if you’re not quite ready to take it to the next level.
- Ask If They Have Plans After The Event: If it’s clear that interest is mutual, you can ask someone you’re interested in if they have plans after the event. Of course, this makes sense at 2 in the afternoon, maybe not so much at 2 in the morning*, so make sure the time is appropriate. Something simple like getting an appetizer and a drink, coffee or tea, or an ice cream (weather appropriate) are simple ideas that make having a conversation to get to know each other easy. *Not saying one night stands don’t happen or that they should be ruled out entirely, just know how to tell the difference between when it’s appropriate and when it’s not.
- Ask To Exchange Numbers: If it’s not a good time for #2, you can always ask to exchange phone numbers so you can start talking and/or texting a little bit and to work out a date. Generally, it’s a good idea to move slowly after getting someone’s phone number and to only call or text during normal and reasonable operating hours of the day, and to be respectful of their space. (Don’t call or text too much.)
I’ll may add more here as more questions come in, so check back every once in a while.